Hours, days, weeks – all seem to be sneaking past me at the moment. They are on tiptoes, trying not to wake me from the fog that seems to still be lingering around in my head these last few weeks. I intend to do things yet so much is undone and I am left living with that feeling you get when you are asleep and desperately trying to wake yourself up.

Being away was lovely yet I am more aware than ever that much is missing from my world, from this existence I find myself in. You would think that this would inspire me to dig deeper, to work harder for the changes that are coming. I wish it was. My mind is still partly elsewhere, still trying to regain its structure and motivation.

Maybe it is busy working some great issue out and when it is done, I will understand what was going on. I will be all like ah-now-I see-what-was-going-on-and-what-to-do-now. Or maybe not. Maybe it will be forever a mystery. For now I would settle for it simply going and letting me be again. For now I will continue to get up, to do my best and to accept that right now this is simply how things are.

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  1. updownflight

    Some times that’s what you’ve got to do, not to say that when you’ve got that little spark you shouldn’t try to kindle it a bit.

    1. Joanna Maguire

      Thanks for the comment lovely. When that spark appears, I will certainly try to give it some life.

  2. KathrinS

    It’s hard when you’re in that kind of brainfog. When I’m stuck at home doing nothing I feel the same way!

    1. Joanna Maguire

      Brainfog is so horrible isn’t it Kathrin. Hoping it will go away soon. It is making life a little hard going at the moment…

      1. KathrinS

        I hope you feel better soon!

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