music under my skin

Tape recorder and cassette tape on wooden floor

Music is threaded within and amongst the strands of my life. It is the memories, it is the now. It is the smiles, the movement, the sorrow. The discovery of the new, the comfort of the familiar.

It has always mattered, always been something I have sought out. Yet this last year music has been more than simply a soundtrack. It has become a lifesaver, a support getting me through each day and giving me comfort when I feel so alone, unable to share my thoughts with others.

Music has been my sanctuary during this long, hard stretch of depression. I have escaped within it. Turned to it to stop the thoughts in my head when they will not leave me alone. To feel something inside the bleakness. It has been my tears, my emptiness, my escape. Music has held me up as I have fallen apart inside. Been that strong pair of arms when it all felt too much.

Music has picked me up, provided a strut to my walk in those rare moments of confidence. Moved my feet when I have felt alive. When I have turned to the deep bass to feel something hit deep within. As I have danced with a smile on my face.

It has been my heartbeat.

Music is (in the words of Faithless) my church, it is where I heal my hurts.


Photo by Simone Acquaroli on Unsplash