At some point I learnt to swim
Sometimes. Too often. I feel I am drowning. Like I can barely keep myself above the water. Even on good days it still feels like treading water, as if I am merely biding time till my energy runs out. Waiting for it to become too much, for it to overwhelm. I forget I have not […]
Do you know me?
Do you know me? Because I certainly don’t. I don’t know who I am anymore. The idea for this post has been eating away at me for months now. For almost a year. But I kept on pushing it away. Too scared to write it. Worried what I might uncover, that I might not do […]
Unplugged
Usually I plug myself in when out in public on my own. Protect myself from how the noises and movements overwhelm. Hide so there is no risk of engagement. Distract from the worries and anxiety flowing from me being out here. Where people can see me. Lose myself in the music entering my ears. Today […]
Mental Health Awareness Week
We are almost at the end of Mental Health Awareness Week 2018 and as is always the case with any of the days or weeks trying to draw attention to mental health, I am conflicted. Part of me is all ‘yeah we need more things like this’ and burns with the opportunities they tease me […]
the battle within
I consciously try not to use the word ‘battle’ when talking about my mental health. Not because I think people who use that word are wrong. I think it is important that people talk with the words that are right for them. And ‘battle’ doesn’t feel right for me, doesn’t work. I don’t want to […]
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